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March 26th
was Bernice's birthday. Our daughter Dawn sent the attached letter
expressing her love for the two of us. Dawn is a constant source of
joy; making Bernice and my decision to adopt a daughter the best
decision we ever made together. My best decision was to ask Bernice
to marry me. I think she would have said marrying me was her best.
Don Tuttle
A Mother’s Love
My Mother was the best. I feel greatly
blessed and extremely special because she, along with my Father, the
greatest Dad anyone could have, chose to adopt me. I am
truly grateful. I often wonder who and where I would be if I was
not chosen by Mom and Dad. I cringe at the thought of a different
life.
My memories of Mother begin when I was
probably close to three years old. I remember that during most of
those days just she and I were at home while Dad was at work and the
boys at school. How great to be an only child and receive all of
the attention, even if only for a few hours out of the day. We
would run errands and I would follow her wherever she went. I would
help her clean and cook, although I am sure that I was mostly just
in the way. I remember attending church every Sunday. Thank you
Mom and Dad for your love of God and raising me in the church!
As I got older I remember Mother always
waking the four of us children up for school and preparing a nice
breakfast for us to eat before we were off, and she always welcomed
us when we arrived home. Having a “stay at home Mom” is the greatest
a child could have. We ate dinner as a family religiously,
something that is so important to me and I cherish. This was a time
for all of us to talk about our day and connect with one another.
Of course as we all got older there were many times when we weren’t
connecting and dinner was just a meal but as I got older I realized
how important sharing meal time together is.
Mother took me to Girl scouts, she was the
leader of my Girl Scout type group at church, she signed me up for
piano lessons, and my favorite of all was the Calvary Command, the
horseback riding team that I was a member of. This was in addition
to the track and field and basketball teams that I participated in.
Dad took me to all of the sporting events and coached several of my
basketball teams. Thank you Dad for those wonderful memories! What
a great childhood!
As I approached the teenage years and began
to think that I was “grown up” and knew everything, Mother and I
began to develop some “issues.” As I think back now, I am sure that
I gave her the “blues.” Yes, I thought that I knew it all and she
couldn’t tell me a thing. I wanted to do what I wanted to do and of
course I didn’t always make that right decisions. I know that I was
the source of much stress, disappointment and hurt for Mother. I
hurt when I think about it. I now refer to those teenage years as
the “stupid years.” Although in recent years when I would express
these thoughts to Mom, she would always tell me that I wasn’t that
bad. Mother never gave up on me though and her love has always been
present and unconditional. I know that she continuously prayed for
me even in her last days with us.
When Mom and Dad decided to move to Atlanta,
I have to say that I had a hard time with it. They were leaving our
home of twenty plus years and leaving me all alone. Although they
taught me to be independent, the thought of them being so far away
was scary and sad. We would have to travel a great distance to see
one another and it wouldn’t be often enough. I did learn to find
peace and comfort in knowing that they grew to love Atlanta, their
home, and the many friends and experiences that they had. And just
knowing that they had each other was enough in itself.
In October of last year when Mom and Dad
were here to visit, it was very apparent that Mother was not feeling
well. She mentioned the severe headaches that she had been
suffering with and now she was suffering with horrible back pain.
One of the days here, she was in so much pain that she was unable to
get out of bed the entire day and we did not see her. She was not
one to complain and she seemed more pained at the idea that she was
not able to get out of bed and visit with me and my family. I was
very concerned about her.
On the day that she and Dad left my home and
we said our goodbyes, I will never forget the hug that Mother gave
me. She hugged and embraced me like she didn’t want to let go, did
she know something that the rest of us didn’t? She also apologized
and expressed her disappointment and sadness in not being able to
get down on the floor to play with Joi and Corey. Playing with her
grandchildren was something that she so greatly enjoyed. She and
Dad were off and who knew what would transpire in the weeks to come.
I continuously prayed for her health and
asked God to relieve her of any pain and discomfort she was
suffering. Dad kept us updated on her health and in the following
weeks the news wasn’t good. How could this be I would ask? The
answer wouldn’t come. I continued to pray. I was having the most
difficult time with Mother’s failing health and decided that I must
go and check on her and Dad. I wanted Joi to go with me, I think
for support and also to see her Grammy whom she loved so much. I am
glad that we were able to visit. Mother was in the hospital and the
Doctor’s were working on “ruling out” any cancer. We visited with
Mother who at times was discouraged about being in the hospital but
her lively spirit didn’t waiver. We talked and laughed a lot and of
course gave lots of hugs and exchanged lots of “I Love You’s.”
On January 20th, Dad called the
family together as Mother had taken a turn for the worst. Family
arrived from great distances and we visited with her and prayed and
prayed. She was never alone. I found comfort in holding her hand
and holding it to my cheek. I didn’t want to let her go.
Mother entered heaven on January 30th
surrounded by the Love of her Life, Dad, myself and other family
members. As I think back to all of the wonderful years we had
together I am joyful that she chose me to be her daughter. I am who
I am today because of Mother and her love. Of all the things that I
learned from her, my favorites are how she taught me to Love, to
Live, and to Laugh. Mother loved Jesus, Dad, and her family and
friends with all of her heart and she was very giving of herself.
Mother lived her life to its fullest. She enjoyed traveling and
seeing the world and the country. I remember as a child how she
enjoyed stopping and visiting all of the sites along the way as we
traveled. She loved nature and the outdoors. The beach was a
favorite of hers as she spent her teenage years in Santa Barbara.
In Atlanta she found great solace in simply sitting outside and
taking in all of the sights and sounds. And Mother loved to laugh
and have a good time. She enjoyed a funny story or a good joke.
She loved to entertain and she was always the life of the party. She
always made sure that everyone around her was having just as good of
a time as she was. I hope to share these with all of my family and
friends. What great memories! When I think of her, I see her and
hear her laughter.
I will never forget Mother saying to me
that, “I know I am going to get old but I do not have to dress old
or act old.” And she did not. For the last few years, we always
found time to go shopping. Mom liked to shop and buy the latest
fashions. And the shoes, she had the greatest shoes, ninety five
pairs Dad counted. Age was just a number that was insignificant to
Mother. I want to be just like you Mom.
I Love You and miss you dearly,
You are the greatest,
Love, Love, Love,
Dawn Marie
1 Corinthians, Chapter 13, 1-13
John, Chapter 14, 1-3
March 26,
2006
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